Perusing my Life

February Ends -- My Superheroes

Saturday, February 28

Every end of the month, i will be posting highlights.. For this February, I will be giving thanks to the HEROES of my month.. (I have many everyday heroes, but for this post I will be concentrating on special ones, who gave me new inspirations this month. :) )

the POSITIVE GIRLS

Power: giving inspiration and happy spirit
Mission: to spread positivism (oh yeah!)

Message: eeeh, because of the secret, our group was formed. These gurls are my constant smile-makers.. ^.^ Go positive girls! our foe, i mean next target (haha) kua roy! bwahaha

Super Pedro

Power: Saving and Comfort

Message: haha.. I know you won't read this. Anyway, I'm so happy we became close. You are really a good friend, I hope you and Yel will be okay again.. If you need someone to listen to your problems, I'd be here for you..

Kua Benjj

Power: Conservatism (hahaha)

Message: Kua, power hug! haha Thanks for treating me as your sister.. May Papa always bless our friendship..

Prince Bee

Power: My Everyminute Hero

Message: Je t'aime always.. whatever we go through, we will always be us.. ^.^

GodBless my Heroes and Sheroes.. Til my next month-ender special entry.. :)

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Just another post

Philippians 4:6-7
Be careful about nothing; but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses every understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts by Christ Jesus.

I heard this passage from miss connie reyes of 700 club asia one night. It is very inspiring. Truly, there are a lot of things that is beyond our understanding, yet God never wants us to understand everything. We just need to cling unto him with full trust, and everything will be okay..

I have prayed to God for power, for me to make major changes in my life. I asked that may He give me the first three months of the year so I could turn over my life and be on track again. I have gained a lot of learnings. And truly, God gave me the power to make my life beautiful. We always have a choice.

There is this one line from the movie "The Number 23" starring Jim Carrey.
There is no such thing as destiny, there are only different choices. Some choices are easy, some aren't. Those are the really important ones. Those that define us as people.

Truly, we are the choices that we continously make.

The movie is so amazing. It is a psychological thriller movie, about a man who will be haunted by the paranoia about the number 23, and discovers a dreadful connection of the paranoia to his own life. I even started looking for the 23 signs of my life (but I think it was just a fictional thingy), there was even a bible passage at the end of the movie, be sure your sin will find you out.(numbers 32:23).. Watch the movie, it's very intriguing and mind-boggling, it was superb.. :)

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Song, in my head

Sunday, February 22

there is this song.. that plays continously inside my head right now.. and it's starting to invade my system and block my veins..

I will break into your thoughtsWith what's written on my heartI will break, breakI'm so sick, infected withWhere I liveLet me live without thisEmpty bliss, selfishnessI'm so sickI'm so sickIf you want more of thisWe can push out, sell out, die outSo you'll shut up and stay sleepingWith my screaming in your itching earsI'm so sick, infected withWhere I liveLet me live without thisEmpty bliss, selfishnessI'm so sickI'm so sickHear it, I'm screaming itYou're heeding to it

nowHear it, I'm screaming itYou tremble at this soundYou sink into my clothesThis invasion makes me feelWorthless, hopeless, sickI'm so sick, infected withWhere I liveLet me live without thisEmpty bliss, selfishnessI'm so, I'm so sickI'm so sick, infected withWhere I liveLet me live without thisEmpty bliss, selfishness

oOohh.. God please don't let me be insane again.. Let my loving heart overpower the poisons of emptiness.. i just want to be happy..

Please help me be happy..

right now, i just don't know how to be..

i am in a state of numbness..

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hidden bruises..

My thoughts are flying,

My dreams are soaring high above me,

I kept my hands, warm and reaching towards them.

Did I just lost by an inch?

My heart was beating, when would it live again?

Even I can't heal, its bleeding.

I just can't smile.

I just can't stop dying.

Posted in insanities.impulsiveness.sadness by Rachel | 0 Reactions anyone?

HAU teacher -- charged with rape..

Friday, February 20

this post is dedicated to the HAU student who filed a case against a teacher of the same school.. i just read her story, awful and pityful.. i do hope that by praying, and posting the link to my site, i will help to let other women know that to fight abuse is something to be proud of.. Let us all hope no more of these cases will happen anymore..

Rose's Story

Posted in think.think.think by Rachel | 0 Reactions anyone?

pushed to be independent..

i had just finished my final interview for sutherland, and i passed..

well i have two things to work on: my 'scwa" sound and more knowledge on technical things. i would be part of a technical support team.

i just had a lot of realizations..

1st- that all things happen for a reason. trust God for letting such dreadful things happen to you. just months ago, i was so much of a complaining-maniac when i did my scholarship duty at our school. it was a scholarship, but then my rebellious opinions and liberty hunger was all over me then.. summary-- "scholars aren't suppose to do those kind of duties". i was always crying back then, but now i am more equipped to doing hard, physical work. (really? haha.. i can carry our television, of course i could do physical-challenging tasks.. haha! ) i also learned from this duty that sometimes i have to be alone, and be okay with that. eat alone, hang-out by myself. well, now i enjoy that.. (when i was in hs, i won't eat, even if i'm dead hungry when i'm all alone)

2nd-that you always have a choice, and to be happy. when i was commuting to clark today and employees from iqor 1, the jeepney dropped them to iqor's place. i know that iqor is near sutherland, so i went off the jeepney with them.. (oo0ps.. problems with my language, sorry)

then.. wAaa! i wan't even near nco. so i walked my way towards the company that i need to go to, the sole person in the streets, walking, the sun so high.. ( at least, i have my umbrella with me, whew.. ) .. all the while that i was walking, i was saying to myself, "silly you, doing exercise on high noon. at least, i'm doing something for my health, smile". haha.. as i reached the company, i perfecty registered the building in front of it (DigiteL ) so i won't be doing the same trip again.. (lots of mistakes in the world, try others, right),.. hahaha.. i'm alive and happy..

before i end this post, i would like to share this -- never let all things change. ^.^ i just had a text conversation with a friend who would be the future faith adviser of my kids.. haha ( hey, i don't even have my boyfriend right now, it's so nice to have fUuuuture plans.. haha.. )

Godbless everyone..

I'm so excited to live my life.. live everyday.. ^.^

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yey!

Wednesday, February 18

ok na ulit.. ^.^
reborn..

Posted in inspirations and being happy by Rachel | 0 Reactions anyone?

hear my plea..

this is a letter, open for everyone to see, yet dedicated to someone very special for me..

to vitamins. . .
my day turned out normal, even if i haven't had any communication with you..
but, i have never been so empty inside.. (i'm starting to cry sa cafe.. :( )
yung about sa last post ko (another falling star) gusto ko magexplain, kahit ayaw mokong magexplain..

kung iniisip mo na ang linyang to "for now, i will be pushing my heart to live without that star.." means na ilalayo ko na sarili ko sayo, mali un.. (deep sigh)

my falling star, ikaw yung tinutukoy non.. pero, hindi buong ikaw, kundi yung ikaw na inisip kong pwede kong maging boyfriend.. gets mu ba? (para na kong tanga dito oh, totoo man umiiyak ako sa cafe.. )

that line means iniiwan ko na yung 'thought' na un, and un yung falling star ko. but that doesn't mean i don't want you in my life. i would never want you na mawala ka sa buhay ko. alam mo naman gano ka kaimportante sakin. diba you are my co-warrior? my brother? bakit ka naman lumalayo.. nasasaktan ako ng sobra..

i miss you soo much.. you are one of the best things that happened to me.. sana marenew na friendship natin..

je t' aime soo much..

:(